On all the blogs about minimalism that I read I see the same question over and over. Why does one choose a minimalist lifestyle over the 'normal' possessions = happiness and success way of thinking?
I can come up with several words to describe why I've chosen to live with less, but all of it seems to take so much explaining. I thought I could better capture my exact intentions through example.
I've always loved staying in motels because when you walk in they're basically a clean slate. Bed, shower, sink, a working door for privacy and sometimes a TV (obviously not a must, but nice).
When you go on vacation you're never compelled to bring all the junk you have laying around your house with you. You never ask yourself if you should bring that half bottle of White Rain conditioner when you know that what makes your hair look the best is your Biolage shampoo and conditioner. You never bring along a cheese slicer or a fondu pot thinking that this may be the one time in two years you will use them.
You bring the things that you use routinely and love and because space is so limited in motels, if you have a piece of trash or something that broke, you chuck it immediately because you value the space you do have.
Somehow the few pieces of clothing that fit into your luggage become something you respect more. You hang them up when you change instead of them ending up in a pile.
If you choose to eat in your motel to save money, you'll almost certainly end up on the bed with a plastic knife spreading mayonnaise on a piece of bread to make a sandwich. When you're done you either toss the knife or wash it off and use it again later.
You never have to debate about going anywhere because you don't have a sink full of dishes waiting for you or piles and piles of laundry to get done.
...and that is what I want.
I want freedom from things.
I want to live like I'm on vacation every day of my life. When I realized that this was possible I was so happy! I find the more things I get out of my house, the more respect I have for the things that I have kept. I pay more attention and take more time washing each dish. I make my bed nicer with the sheets I've chosen to keep. Once it becomes a way of life to respect and love the things around you, its a natural progression to start appreciating things in other areas of your life as well. I appreciate my health more, which results in my wanting to put better things in my body. I respect myself as a person more, which means I care more about who I let into my life, relationship-wise, because people can easily destroy parts of you with their negativity.
When I first started exploring the idea of becoming a minimalist I ended up reading a few blogs about the most impoverished countries. Google Zimbabwe's GDP and then Google the United States' GDP. You'll be shocked. Can you imagine any person living in that much poverty ever having to thin out a closet or pair down their shoe collection to just 30 instead of 80 pairs? Of course not. You can be on Welfare in the Unites States and comparatively you'll be living like a queen.
I'm not saying we should live with one pair of shoes or one outfit by any means, but there is a lot to be learned from people who live in that kind of poverty. Appreciate, love and respect what you have. Living more simply forces changes in your life. You don't need to be focused so much on the stuff in your home. The focus should be on the experiences in your life, the people you love, the time spent enjoying yourself. You only need one pair of shoes to take a walk and you only need one plate to eat a beautiful dinner on.
I am by no means done clearing the physical or emotional clutter from my life, but I have made huge strides in what I've got to say is a pretty short amount of time.
You can change your life any time you choose. Every day I'm choosing to change my life for the better. Every time I throw something away or put something in a donate bag I am changing my life.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Oh late 20's, how did time go so fast?
I am officially twenty-six years old today.
In the last twenty-five years of my life the most important days have been the days my children were born. I have given birth to two of the most beautiful people I've ever met. I am so lucky to be able to share in their lives. The love for life that they share with each other, the countless possibilities they see when they wake up each morning, their innocence, their freedom and the peace that they have is so amazing and so inspiring.
It is so funny being a mommy, especially a single one. The way you start feeling about yourself and your life changes so drastically when you see your child's face for the first time. Even when you get caught up in feeling sorry for yourself or even when your heart is broken the very worst, it only takes your child to say one thing to make you realize how absolutely unimportant 90% of the bullshit in your life is in comparison.
Me: dealing with betrayal and trying to deal with the fact that I am going to be a single mother.
My oldest: "mom-mom, I eat brother's sock"
Me: "did you really?"
My oldest: "not if you make trench tries" (french fries)
Me: get up, make trench tries.
...and my life has purpose.
I cannot imagine going back in my life to fix any 'mistakes' I have made because if I were to fix anything to make a better situation, a situation where I wasn't heart broken, I wouldn't be exactly where I am right now, which is...
I am a mom-mom and I make trench tries and I eat in the sunshine in the backyard with my boys, one of which is wearing backwards underwear and a boot and the other who's wearing just a diaper with grass and a dried worm hanging off, and we sing the alphabet really loud and in a chipmunk voice to annoy the neighbors.
I don't ever need anything else.
In the last twenty-five years of my life the most important days have been the days my children were born. I have given birth to two of the most beautiful people I've ever met. I am so lucky to be able to share in their lives. The love for life that they share with each other, the countless possibilities they see when they wake up each morning, their innocence, their freedom and the peace that they have is so amazing and so inspiring.
It is so funny being a mommy, especially a single one. The way you start feeling about yourself and your life changes so drastically when you see your child's face for the first time. Even when you get caught up in feeling sorry for yourself or even when your heart is broken the very worst, it only takes your child to say one thing to make you realize how absolutely unimportant 90% of the bullshit in your life is in comparison.
Me: dealing with betrayal and trying to deal with the fact that I am going to be a single mother.
My oldest: "mom-mom, I eat brother's sock"
Me: "did you really?"
My oldest: "not if you make trench tries" (french fries)
Me: get up, make trench tries.
...and my life has purpose.
I cannot imagine going back in my life to fix any 'mistakes' I have made because if I were to fix anything to make a better situation, a situation where I wasn't heart broken, I wouldn't be exactly where I am right now, which is...
I am a mom-mom and I make trench tries and I eat in the sunshine in the backyard with my boys, one of which is wearing backwards underwear and a boot and the other who's wearing just a diaper with grass and a dried worm hanging off, and we sing the alphabet really loud and in a chipmunk voice to annoy the neighbors.
I don't ever need anything else.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
My own tiny home
I frequent a few blogs and www.tinyhouseblog.com is one of them. Whenever I look at these tiny homes I admire the simplicity that comes with living this way and I imagine these people's lives being a lot richer with things they truly love.
My dad and I were talking about little cabins. He told me all about the old one person logging cabins his father and brothers made. He said 'that's all I need!' and that he'd be 'perfectly happy' in one. He also added 'shit, you could build one in a day!'. My dad was born in 1944. He was the youngest of 4 brothers. He told me about having just a few toys. A wagon, cap gun, a handmade jumprope and a couple of wooden cars. They had large nails on the wall to hang their few outfits, all of which 'were the same'. His mom would bake her own bread, can salmon, deer meet and fruits and vegetables from their garden. She would bake cookies with egg whites, sugar and vanilla.
Talking with my dad just further made me realize what an abundance of stuff we actually have. We have everything we actually need to survive. Everything we have is convenient. We can shower and have hot water within a minute. We have heat at our fingertips. We have entertainment in a box. We have food already prepared in cans. And while I don't want to go back to 1944 and live that life, I do want to really think about where the things I use come from. Whether it be a factory, a local farm, etc., I at least need to think when I open my fridge how amazing it is to just have cold food in front of me. Cold food that I didn't have to pick, or bottle, or figure out how to preserve. We are lucky!
When I see my dad's work ethic, his likes and dislikes, his needs and the way he lives, its inspiring.
My point is, I have my own tiny home -- literally. It is so small, with 2 rooms being about 10x10, the front room about 18x15 and the kitchen being about 9x8. I have what I want right in front of me...under me! I have misused my space. I have stuffed it full of the unnecessary and overwhelmed my life with convenience, and in the processed moved in the opposite direction of happiness.
In closing, a quote from my dad.
"You know how many dishes I have? 1 plate. 1 fork. 1 cup and a spoon to stir my coffee with. That's all I need".
My dad, a 67 year old ex-logger with simple wishes for the summer, a garden and a salt shaker. He has a lot wrong, but he sure has life right in some very important ways.
My dad and I were talking about little cabins. He told me all about the old one person logging cabins his father and brothers made. He said 'that's all I need!' and that he'd be 'perfectly happy' in one. He also added 'shit, you could build one in a day!'. My dad was born in 1944. He was the youngest of 4 brothers. He told me about having just a few toys. A wagon, cap gun, a handmade jumprope and a couple of wooden cars. They had large nails on the wall to hang their few outfits, all of which 'were the same'. His mom would bake her own bread, can salmon, deer meet and fruits and vegetables from their garden. She would bake cookies with egg whites, sugar and vanilla.
Talking with my dad just further made me realize what an abundance of stuff we actually have. We have everything we actually need to survive. Everything we have is convenient. We can shower and have hot water within a minute. We have heat at our fingertips. We have entertainment in a box. We have food already prepared in cans. And while I don't want to go back to 1944 and live that life, I do want to really think about where the things I use come from. Whether it be a factory, a local farm, etc., I at least need to think when I open my fridge how amazing it is to just have cold food in front of me. Cold food that I didn't have to pick, or bottle, or figure out how to preserve. We are lucky!
When I see my dad's work ethic, his likes and dislikes, his needs and the way he lives, its inspiring.
My point is, I have my own tiny home -- literally. It is so small, with 2 rooms being about 10x10, the front room about 18x15 and the kitchen being about 9x8. I have what I want right in front of me...under me! I have misused my space. I have stuffed it full of the unnecessary and overwhelmed my life with convenience, and in the processed moved in the opposite direction of happiness.
In closing, a quote from my dad.
"You know how many dishes I have? 1 plate. 1 fork. 1 cup and a spoon to stir my coffee with. That's all I need".
My dad, a 67 year old ex-logger with simple wishes for the summer, a garden and a salt shaker. He has a lot wrong, but he sure has life right in some very important ways.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Out with the old, out with the new?
Whenever I have relationship issues I find myself reevaluating other aspects of my life.
Well, this relationship 'issue' was a doozy..so in keeping with my reevaluation period and based on the severity of the situation, I've decided to take things to a new level and blog about it!
Typically I ask myself the following questions:
-What do I need?
-What do I want?
Today I added:
-What do I deserve?
It's interesting to see the correlation between your emotional state and your physical one. There's no denying that when I'm unhappy, stressed, hurt or frustrated that my surroundings show it.
I'm not trying to change that part of myself necessarily, yet, but I am trying to make my life easier when stressful times come up.
There are some areas of my home that are easier to tackle. Over the years I've gotten better about deciding to get rid of things like old conditioner bottles and almost-empty things in the bathroom. I also (and very proudly, I must admit), do not have a junk drawer or any catch all spaces.
I struggle a lot with how much of something I need. Will I regret throwing or giving it away? The worst of it is definitely the feeling of 'if I were more productive in a day I would use this', 'if I were a better mom I'd use this', 'if I got up earlier I could make time for this' and of course 'if I was thinner I could use this'.
My home still reminds me daily of the person I would like to be, or the person I think I should be. It's just not realistic. I'm not, currently, that person. I'm very much a single, tired, 14 week pregnant mother of 2.
My focus is now convenience and necessity.
What do I need everyday? I'm talking basic, basic needs. Diapers, wipes, TV remotes, olive oil, a pan, plates, shampoo, toilet paper, garbage bags, dish soap, etc.
Out of that, how many pans is logical to keep? How many plates do I need for 1 adult and two children?
What are the things that are unnecessary in my home? Pictures on walls, DVDs, knick-knacks, toys, books, etc. Out of those items, what is important enough to keep? Do I really watch all the DVDs? Do I look at and enjoy the knick-knacks? Can the kids really enjoy all their toys and books with so many?
What do I deserve?
I deserve items to pamper myself. While unnecessary, things like bubble bath, candles, perfume, hair products and other beauty products are something I should find a more permanent place in my home for (within reason of course), because such items will add to my quality of life, whereas knick-knacks take my time and energy (having to clean them, be careful of them, find places for them).
What in my home is overshadowed by having too many of the same item?
Right on back to knick-knacks. There are a few things I love and a ton of things I like. The things I love are drowned out by all of the things I just like. I should find a few special places for a few special things. I would enjoy the things left more, it would create more peaceful space and I would stop resenting things simply for being there and in my way. Clothes are a big one. I hate going into my closet and seeing a billion things I can't wear. I need to be less idealistic and more realistic in my choices when deciding these things.
My goal is really to have a nearly empty house with only items I love or need. And while that has always been a goal of mine, acheiving it has been slow going.
I'm interested in reading about people's experiences and any ideas on how to accomplish such a large project
Well, this relationship 'issue' was a doozy..so in keeping with my reevaluation period and based on the severity of the situation, I've decided to take things to a new level and blog about it!
Typically I ask myself the following questions:
-What do I need?
-What do I want?
Today I added:
-What do I deserve?
It's interesting to see the correlation between your emotional state and your physical one. There's no denying that when I'm unhappy, stressed, hurt or frustrated that my surroundings show it.
I'm not trying to change that part of myself necessarily, yet, but I am trying to make my life easier when stressful times come up.
There are some areas of my home that are easier to tackle. Over the years I've gotten better about deciding to get rid of things like old conditioner bottles and almost-empty things in the bathroom. I also (and very proudly, I must admit), do not have a junk drawer or any catch all spaces.
I struggle a lot with how much of something I need. Will I regret throwing or giving it away? The worst of it is definitely the feeling of 'if I were more productive in a day I would use this', 'if I were a better mom I'd use this', 'if I got up earlier I could make time for this' and of course 'if I was thinner I could use this'.
My home still reminds me daily of the person I would like to be, or the person I think I should be. It's just not realistic. I'm not, currently, that person. I'm very much a single, tired, 14 week pregnant mother of 2.
My focus is now convenience and necessity.
What do I need everyday? I'm talking basic, basic needs. Diapers, wipes, TV remotes, olive oil, a pan, plates, shampoo, toilet paper, garbage bags, dish soap, etc.
Out of that, how many pans is logical to keep? How many plates do I need for 1 adult and two children?
What are the things that are unnecessary in my home? Pictures on walls, DVDs, knick-knacks, toys, books, etc. Out of those items, what is important enough to keep? Do I really watch all the DVDs? Do I look at and enjoy the knick-knacks? Can the kids really enjoy all their toys and books with so many?
What do I deserve?
I deserve items to pamper myself. While unnecessary, things like bubble bath, candles, perfume, hair products and other beauty products are something I should find a more permanent place in my home for (within reason of course), because such items will add to my quality of life, whereas knick-knacks take my time and energy (having to clean them, be careful of them, find places for them).
What in my home is overshadowed by having too many of the same item?
Right on back to knick-knacks. There are a few things I love and a ton of things I like. The things I love are drowned out by all of the things I just like. I should find a few special places for a few special things. I would enjoy the things left more, it would create more peaceful space and I would stop resenting things simply for being there and in my way. Clothes are a big one. I hate going into my closet and seeing a billion things I can't wear. I need to be less idealistic and more realistic in my choices when deciding these things.
My goal is really to have a nearly empty house with only items I love or need. And while that has always been a goal of mine, acheiving it has been slow going.
I'm interested in reading about people's experiences and any ideas on how to accomplish such a large project
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