I am officially twenty-six years old today.
In the last twenty-five years of my life the most important days have been the days my children were born. I have given birth to two of the most beautiful people I've ever met. I am so lucky to be able to share in their lives. The love for life that they share with each other, the countless possibilities they see when they wake up each morning, their innocence, their freedom and the peace that they have is so amazing and so inspiring.
It is so funny being a mommy, especially a single one. The way you start feeling about yourself and your life changes so drastically when you see your child's face for the first time. Even when you get caught up in feeling sorry for yourself or even when your heart is broken the very worst, it only takes your child to say one thing to make you realize how absolutely unimportant 90% of the bullshit in your life is in comparison.
Me: dealing with betrayal and trying to deal with the fact that I am going to be a single mother.
My oldest: "mom-mom, I eat brother's sock"
Me: "did you really?"
My oldest: "not if you make trench tries" (french fries)
Me: get up, make trench tries.
...and my life has purpose.
I cannot imagine going back in my life to fix any 'mistakes' I have made because if I were to fix anything to make a better situation, a situation where I wasn't heart broken, I wouldn't be exactly where I am right now, which is...
I am a mom-mom and I make trench tries and I eat in the sunshine in the backyard with my boys, one of which is wearing backwards underwear and a boot and the other who's wearing just a diaper with grass and a dried worm hanging off, and we sing the alphabet really loud and in a chipmunk voice to annoy the neighbors.
I don't ever need anything else.
