Addicted

I have a total of 5G's per month on my internet plan and I'm already maxed out, with 9 days to go until it resets.  This may be a blessing in disguise as it's made me realize how distracted I get by internet-y things while I'm trying to write.  And not just that...but how distracted I am by the internet in general. 

I feel like living simply trumps most everything else, because the appreciation for life you get from living this way is a far better pay off than, say, spending all of your time bullshitting online with people you've never met in real life.  If you're a real internet addict, you lose time with things like FarmVille, but that's for another blog. 

I think at this point, for me, I've got to find balance.  I don't want to be an idiot and shun technology.  The fact that I can question how to spell a word and within minutes have the answer and 500 other random facts about the word is amazing.   It's also useful in that I don't need a dictionary sitting around waiting to be dusted, or having pages ripped out by naughty little boys.  It saves me time, energy and space. 

It also sucks the fucking life out of me.
I often have what I think of as internet hangovers.  I get carried away looking at Facebook and end up staying up way too late.   In the morning I'm groggy, irritated and have that weird heavy head/eye problem.  And yes folks, I even have the guilt that goes with a typical hangover.  Instead of the ohgodhowmuchdididrinkandwhatdidisay-guilt, it's more of a whydidispend9hoursstraightlookingatbackslidersfrommyoldchurchthatihaven'tbeentoin20yearsonfaceook type of guilt.  What a waste of time...of life!   I always think it's fine to have some meaningless entertainment -- the kind where what you're doing has no real purpose other than to entertain, but often when you get caught up in internet-things, it's not meaningless, it's destructive.   

Whether you're looking at an ex's - ex's profile or doing like I do with former church members, the feeling you get isn't anything positive.  It's not like 'aw, they look so happy, yay!'.  It's more like 'I wonder if that chick who wears too much lipstick and doesn't have any eyebrows realizes that the person she's dating uses his toenails as toothpicks?  MAYBE I SHOULD TELL HER.'. 

I usually know when it's time to start putting some rules down for myself and I think it is JUST about that time! 
The point of minimalism is to free yourself up to live life, to be able to enjoy things more fully without thinking of things you need to do, clean, move, take somewhere else, put up, take out, take down or throw away. 

So, I think it's time for me to minimize the time I spend online.  To minimize the inane shit I end up watching on YouTube (uhm, auto tuned dogs?). 
This is all life-filler and not the good kind.

I want to spend more time with my kids, enjoy the simpler days in my life before I am doing school runs, before I am forced to get a job again..I don't want to look back and know that all I've done with ALL of this time I've created is ultimately...nothing.  Will I remember those 5 minute 'this is the cutest baby laugh ever!!' video or how many rows of corn I planted in FarmVille 5 years from now? 

What I WOULD remember is staying in the backyard all day because we can, picnics, morning park runs, taking a drive for no reason, forts, making huge train tracks that span the entire house and baths in the middle of the day with dish soap bubbles.